Before any of you watch this, I want you to know a couple of things:
- I am a Christian, so if you love me as a person, follower, or someone you follow, don’t say hateful, blanket comments about Christians.
- I am a lesbian and a Christian. If you believe that those two cannot coincide, that is your opinion and I’d rather you keep it to yourself.
- I was raised by Christian parents and when I came out to them harsh words were said. I didn’t talk to my dad for nearly two and a half years because he didn’t approve/ accept the fact that I was gay. (This issue was further unacceptable because I was married at the time and had decided to leave my abusive and unfaithful husband to be true to myself.)
- Please read this entire thing. I promise I don’t think “God Hates America” or any of that BS.
When I came out to my family, one of the first things my family said to me was that I was no longer going to heaven when I died. Being gay, to them, was an unforgivable sin and it would land me in an eternity of hurt and sorrow, away from my family. I received letters from family members saying that I was an abomination. The day after I told my parents, they took me to church and we had a meeting with my senior pastor who then invited an “ex-lesbian” to become my mentor, to help me find my way back.
Here’s the deal though, I’d never left. I was still a child of God, and I was still a Christian. (Let me just say, I have never claimed to be perfect, a perfect Christian, or that all of the things I do are deemed holy. I know I’m imperfect.) I still went to church, I still tried to do the right thing, I was simply Alysa, only now I was also out.
I have struggled so much with this since that day in February 2009. I was raised to believe that you couldn’t be Christian and gay at the same time. How could I admit this to myself, and now others, and not be broken hearted when they told me I wasn’t allowed into heaven anymore? I struggled with depression, and there were days that I wanted out of this fight. I wanted to just end it all and simply be done. Away from hurt caused by my family’s attitude towards “gay me”, away from my loser ex-husband who loved to call me “dyke” in the most hateful way the word can be said, simply away.
I admit that I don’t pray as often as I should, but I prayed so hard for an answer. I went to counseling, I talked to priests, and also found answers with a minister I’d found randomly on Stumble Upon. The ultimate answer from all of these people was that I was still God’s beloved. I was still His child, and He made me exactly the way He wanted me.
This is a documentary entitled For the Bible Tells Me So. If you watch the video I’ve posted, it’s only part one of the seven parts this youtube user posted. I urge everyone to watch all seven parts, since the first part might make you believe that it is out to bad-mouth the gay community and reestablish the Christian community as “the good guys in the fight for Straight America”. If you have Netflix, you can watch the entire film in one click instantly.
I admire the people in this video. It takes courage to be Christians and be openly gay, as you’ll see. I hope you do watch it. Even if you’re not a Christian, maybe you have a Christian friend who is struggling with his/ her sexuality. This has seriously become a comfort to me knowing that I am amazing just the way I am.